Sometimes I wonder just what the hell is wrong with you. I should probably clarify at this point that when I say “you” I don’t necessarily mean you, the reader, specifically. I mean you, the customer. I am well aware that many people are great customers. I am also sadly and acutely aware that a surprisingly large number of you are jerks when it comes to being customers.
Anyhow, sometimes I wonder just what the hell is wrong with you. I’ve noticed this trend over the past ten years or so among teens and twenty-somethings to mumble. Would it kill you to open your god-damned mouth and enunciate? Oh, right. The sulky emo-kid thing. Forfucksake, it doesn’t make you cool. It makes you annoying. You can’t actually like repeating everything you say because you don’t seem to like having to talk in the first place. On the other hand, maybe you just like making me strain to hear you and ask you to repeat yourself. In any event, speak the fuck up.
Sadly, it’s not just young people who do this. Oh no, even those of you who have many years of experience in the world and the workplace are mumblers, whisperers and just plain annoying. Seriously, do you not hear how loud it is here in the store? Can you not hear the music, the coffee grinder, the milk steamers, the other 30 customers in the store all talking at once? Do you really expect us to be able to hear you over all this noise when you whisper your order? You come to the counter and you say “hello” to me in a normal voice, and then when you order, you lower your volume to an inaudible stream of… I think they might be words, but your lips aren’t fucking moving so I can’t be sure. I lean in to try to hear you better and you continue to whisper. I ask you to repeat the order, leaning in further, and you lean back and whisper some more!
And so it goes. On the other hand, some of you shout all the time. Even when you’re the only one in the store.
I was going to continue this with a rant about cell phones, iPods and paying attention in line, but I think I’ll save that for another time.
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